Taking matters into his own hands

My favorite parenting moments often turn out like this…
I’m sitting at the table on a lazy Sunday morning, reading the paper on my trusty PowerBook, when Adam comes galloping over with a great big grin… and woofing like Blue (of Blue’s Clues fame). He climbs up on the chair next to me and sticks out [...]

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Surely this can not last

Recently seen in the Kauffman house: Beth and Adam fighting over who got to take out the garbage. Mind you, they weren’t arguing over who HAD to take out the garbage, but who GOT to take out the garbage… like it was a privilege, not a chore.

It’d be really something if this trend continued.
“No, I [...]

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News from the front

I’ve just now discovered a reason why I should not let my children play in my bedroom; although I must admit I share some of the blame.
It has to do with the way I lay my head to sleep… usually in an unsubtle manner. Imagine plopping your head down, expecting a soft pillow… only to [...]

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The little boy that could

Have you ever known a child to enjoy washing his or her hands too much? I’m not a regular on the parenting circuit so I can’t claim to be an expert; but I can tell you it’s a 50/50 proposition in our modest household. Our daughter exhibits many of the signs of phobia. She has [...]

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Dripping with potential

Anyone who’s taken a high school physics class is familiar with potential energy; which is important because potential energy is le metaphor du jour. Tonight we made a discovery in the Kauffman Household… the existence of potential irony. This form of irony has the potential to change the perception of other objects around it. For [...]

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Surgeon General’s Warning: Children can cause severe bruising

Here’s a helpful hint from your friendly neighborhood parent… never bend over to speak to a hyperactive child. God made parents tall for a reason… to keep their heads away from their children’s.
Take it from my wife… you want to keep the more fleshy parts of the body between your head and their’s. Even a [...]

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I have no answer for that

“Daddy, I need a pillow.”
“Why Adam?”
“Why not daddy?”

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Anatomy of an evening

Having kids is a lesson in equal opportunity, taken to extremes. Take this evening (please). First, Adam is happy with his bowl of Crock-Pot special (mommy and daddy’s diner of choice). Enter Beth, with her bowl of specially prepared, left-over Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Sooner than you can say, “mommy, mommy,” Adam was out [...]

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Lessons from the twentieth century

This morning Adam was angry about being abandoned by his mother. Cheryl and Beth snuck out early to hit Busch Gardens for a little mother daughter bonding. They left Adam in the clutches of the evil daddy, who had no desire for a return engagement with the full pull of Adam’s mass.
Adam demanded to see [...]

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Boy discovers strategic value of gravity

Yesterday my son and I were settling into our Friday evening routine, consisting of a daddy on the floor doing his best impression of a jungle gym. I was lying on the floor, when Adam decided to go old-school WWF on me. I didn’t know he could jump, let alone jump backwards, but facing the [...]

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